ISSUE 986 - February 2024

"I loved you. I loved how you looked at me and spoke to me. I loved watching your lips as they formed the words you spoke. I loved how much it hurt when we weren't together. I adored you. From the moment I saw you across the crowded room the night we met, I loved you."

I found this in an old letter I wrote over 30 years ago.

Walter was my first true love; I was 17 when I fell head over heels in love with him. Our attraction and chemistry were undeniable. He was three years older than me, which was a huge gap at that age, primarily due to the "life" lived between high school and college. I had to get special permission to take him to my senior prom. I wouldn't have gone with anyone else.

Have you ever felt that way about someone? 

The only other man I felt that way about was my late husband. I haven't felt that way since. I wonder if I will have another chance to feel that way again. 

Welcome February, considered the month of love. It got me thinking about this complex emotion with its own month. 

Some people throw the word "love" around like confetti at a New Year's party. Some people won't use the word "love" to save their lives (or relationships). 

I was talking to a sales clerk at Patsy's Candies the other day, and we were giggling about Valentine's Day and how, every year, they brace themselves for all the guys who rush in at the last minute to buy their beloved a box of chocolates. (The same thing happens at Christmas, by the way). Guys, plan a little. You've got a bad reputation to overcome. 

A box of chocolates and flowers is not the only way to show love. One of the most important things you can do for your beloved is find out their love language. (I highly recommend you read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman).

Here are the Cliffs notes: The 5 love languages, according to Chapman, are acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, and physical touch. 

For me, you can keep your chocolate and flowers. My top love language is quality time. If you make an effort to enter my world intentionally and caringly, like coming to see me speak (because speaking is so important to me and you've taken the time to be there), I'm putty in your hands. So find out what your loved one wants. You may have been missing the mark all these years.

I had a widowed neighbor when I was in my 30’s back in Dallas. She told me that when she was in the shower, her husband would take her robe and put it in the dryer to warm it. When she got out of the shower, he would be there to wrap her warm robe around her. I thought, "Wow, now that's love". 

How do you show your love beyond buying flowers or chocolates on a particular day in a specific month? 

Find a way to show your love every day, whether it's to your partner, children, parents, friends, acquaintances, or even strangers. Show love for your fellow man. And always remember to show love for yourself.